I thought it would be fun to do a series posts called "Confessions." When I told my fellow-mom-friend about this idea her prompt response was "I could never do that!" It's true. In some ways it makes sense. As mom's we don't get performance evaluations from our bosses or raises for consistently getting our work done on time. If we're blessed with a thoughtful husband in that area, we may get an "ata-girl." So how do we make sure we're "good" moms with up to par performances? We compare ourselves to other moms. From our most ancient sisters (think Sarah and Hagar, Rachel and Leah) to now, we get ourselves into a whole heck of a lot of messes from it.
It can be really damaging to the self-esteem when everyone always looks better than us. And, everyone always does look better because everyone puts their best foot forward in public. Because, no one wants other moms to judge them as a mediocre, or worse yet, a bad mom! Hopefully, you have a friend who allows you to be mediocre in her presence without judging you for it. Hopefully, somewhere in your life, there is that sort of intimacy.
So confessions. I thought it would fun to post some things I do that most moms would never admit to a public audience! I have to lay some ground rules because I'm making myself pretty vulnerable here to mommy hatred.
1. No "hate" comments. If you need to judge to make yourself feel better, keep it to yourself.
2. Re-read rule one, over and over and over. :)
So, drum roll, my first confession:
I gotta preface this a little. My youngest, Gigi, is about 28 months old. Gigi is a morning person. And, she is ALMOST potty trained. Well, once a child is ALMOST potty trained there is no un-training even in the most inconvenient of circumstances.
I am pregnant. Seventeen weeks pregnant, and although, my energy has been increasing over the last few weeks, I have no desire to bounce out of bed in the morning. I usually lay there for 30 minutes after I wake up.
This morning Gigi got up, which woke me up. Then I hear her, "Moooooom. Come wipe me!"
Evelyn, my five year old, had crawled into to bed with me at night (like usual), so I turned to her and said, "I'll give you a dollar to go wipe her." Evelyn is usually a sleepy head and is as slow moving as me in the mornings, but she is at that age where she likes money for the sake of having money. So she got up to do it!
Then I hear, "Moooooom. She pooped."
"$3!" That sealed the deal.
Oh Kendra! You're my kind of woman! There are nights when I go to sleep and think about how blessed I am to have Grace. There are many days (even when NOT pregnant) that I have Grace do so much for me. She'll clean Nate's diaper and sometimes fix breakfast for her siblings while I take a shower!
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wonder if when she grows up she'll look back and think that I was lazy. =( Not that I never do anything for her (or the other children), but it's the mommy guilt that gets me.
ROFL!!!! I'm on the phone with Dave, reading your blog aloud to him. I'm laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my cheeks and can barely get some of the words out while I read. Thank you, thank you, for posting such honesty.
ReplyDeleteI have paid my kids to start the car, to go out to the car and retrieve something I forgot, to do my job for me (putting stickers on my business cards for PR purposes), and to get MY dad a drink. I figure they're learning that you get paid for doing a job... or something like that :)
You are HILARIOUS. I am cracking up. And I am loving your writing skills. I'm seriously proud of you, Miss Math Major. I seriously don't think this qualifies you as mediocre, though. You're teaching Evelyn how to serve others. You'll have to do a community helpers unit and have a special lesson concerning waste management. ;-))
ReplyDeleteAmanda, writing is actually a lot like math - use certain formulas and you get a good solution. Behind missing my families, the number 1 thing I miss about my job is writing and preparing messages, it's one of the reasons I started the blog.
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