I'm Back! (Kind of)...

I gave up on blogging during our school year because I just didn't have time, but I have renewed my commitment, at least for the summer months. What should I write about?  Give me a list. :-)

 The girls went to our friends' house after church yesterday, stayed the night, and are playing there today until their game this evening. I spent the day yesterday hanging out with my boys, and today I am home alone with Zachary!

It has been balm to my soul. Sometimes you don't realize the weight of parenting until you encounter a reprieve. This time, that was not the case. I know I am tired and run-down. We had a lovely vacation the first week of February, but from that point until Memorial Day, Richard had not had a non-weekend day off. The girls went straight from school-year activities, into softball, making me wonder how we ever fit Richard's studies into the mix. (His semesters are divided into two 8-week terms, so he took the second half the last term off. Our family needed that to happen. He needs 16 hours to graduate, but may take masters' classes as well in order to get a jump on it while he still has G.I. Bill money to pay for it. So, it looks like we have one full-time school year left, starting in August. Please pray for us)! Gigi has never known her daddy not in school, and I am guessing Riley and Evelyn barely remember. I am not ready for August yet, so my goal is to find some needed rest this summer. Hopefully, the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel will add strength to my endurance.

Camp is next week, so I feel slightly guilty for indulging in journaling during Zachary's nap on a day I have only one child, but alas, it feels good. Once camp is over, softball will trail behind, and we'll have an entire 8-ish weeks to just have fun!  We do have some summer-school goals, but nothing overwhelming. I will blog more about home-schooling, but I will just say here that in these early years, at least, I have decided we will school year-round. It lightens the load of the school-year, but also carries one of my educational philosophies into practice: Education is not a chore, but a way of life.

Signing-off, for now.

My Blog Dream

There are so many things that I want this blog to be.

I started it because I felt like ministry had been stripped away from me. I felt like maybe this could be some small ministry to other women who struggled with thinking their best wasn't good enough. I wanted to share my heart with others so they could either learn, grow, or maybe just feel like they're okay. However, it doesn't have much of chance of being any of that because I can't find time to write! I know, in part, it's because I could manage my time better (ehem, spend less time on Facebook). But it's also because my baby has revolted and has abandoned his previously stated good sleeping habits. It's amazing how much more you get done when you're not tired, right?

Here are a list of things I would like to write about:

Parenting Issues
Homeschooling
Book Reviews
Faith
Funny Stories

But, you'll have to wait for all of those, because I need to do yoga now, because my ballet class starts again on Thursday and I need to improve my flexibility before then.

Reality Check ... Thanks Evelyn!

My 6 year old is a slow-poke. Whenever, we get ready to go somewhere she is invariably the last one ready. This morning we were preparing for tumbling and instead of putting on her shoes and sweatshirt, like I had asked, she was playing with the baby. I said to her, "Evelyn, you need to worry about Evelyn first. Get yourself ready to go and then you can help with your sisters and brother." She replied, "But that's not how you do it."

Geesh. I've been convicted, as of late, about the amount that I nag my children and have been intentionally focusing on teaching them by my example, so this stung a bit. In the realm of motherhood, we are often the lowly servant, putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own. However, the best servants take care of their own needs first so they are better able to serve those around them. I thought I knew this. I thought I practiced this. But, Evelyn's comment coerced me to reevaluate I learned a lesson I thought I learned a long time ago.

Here is an abbreviated version of my story: my sophomore year of high school I had acne pretty badly. I also was having horrible menstrual cramps. My doctor responded in a typical fashion: a prescription pad. Erythromycin and birth control pills. These two things were supposed to cure me, but in reality I'm convinced they sent my previously healthy self into a fit of health problems. As it turns out Erythromycin is an antibiotic. And, taking an antibiotic for years on end will virtually destroy one's immune system - sure it killed the bacteria causing my acne - but it also killed all the good bacteria that made up a large portion of my immunity. By my senior year, I developed a case of mono so badly my doctor thought I had leukemia, and was also having chronic sinus infections. The "cure" for my sinus infections: more antibiotics. I wish I could say I wised up right away, but I suffered through years of what probably could have been diagnosed as chronic fatigue, which spiraled into depression during my first pregnancy. By this point my allergy induced asthma was then a huge health issue as well. Then Evelyn was born, and seemingly never slept. Oh, it didn't end there, I got pregnant again with Riley. There were days, I would lay on the couch praying my baby didn't get hurt because I literally didn't have the strength or energy to get off the couch to take care of her. How could take care of my children if I didn't figure out a way to take care of myself?

It was a long journey to healing that involved: vitamins, saline rinsing, exercising, reading, praying, yoga, eating healthier, learning more about what I was putting into my body, but mostly it involved making an intentional effort to think about myself first. (By the way, I haven't had a sinus infection for five years now)! It's a journey that I am still on! Recently, I added a weekly mom's night out to the list, as well as ballet lessons. I'm constantly making baby steps to overfill my life, so rather than pour out everything to where I have nothing left to give, my life can freely run over into the lives of others.

I think my next baby step will be getting myself ready to go somewhere before I focus on the children!

Discipline is Education

My kids' are making our afternoon schooling session easy on me. They're sitting on my bed, refusing to fold their laundry. An hour and 30 minutes strong now ...Wow.

Feed Your Kids a Four Course Meal?

So I see a lot of posts from moms are hear moms talk about their kids' disconcerting eating habits. I'm actually pretty intentional about what I feed my children for lunch. It's part of our school day and so I think lunch should be a learning experience too. So I thought I would share how I get my kids to eat all the food groups. I feed them a four course meal! We usually eat breakfast around 9:30, so by the time my children sit down to lunch at 12:30, they're pretty hungry. (And we don't snack in between). At this point, they'll eat just about anything, so I start with the food they need the most of but eat the least of: veggies! I usually just do a raw veggie tray. I'll sit it on the table (with ranch) and they scarf up those veggies while I make the rest of lunch. Here's where I give them their diary, protein, and grains. Today we had popcorn and cottage cheese (good protein too), a lot of times we'll have pb&j and yogurt, sometimes cheese quesadillas or left-overs. After they eat that for five minutes or so, I'll put fruit on the table. If they're still hungry, I'll let them have a dessert; today it was hot chocolate.

Home Schooling and Happy Accidents

Time to write has escaped me lately. It would be tempting to blame it on a newborn, but in actuality we're four weeks into our school year. I should be wakening the girls as I type, but seeing how the little man has already gone back down for a morning nap and the girls are induced to sleep by the overcast morning, I'll write. Too bad I'm not a coffee drinker; I think this would be the perfect time for a cup.

Lately, I've been challenging myself. I'm working on developing a philosophy of education and a mission statement for our little school at home. Part of my desire is to instill in my children a life-time love of learning and an appetite for exploration. I am aware that my children will look to me for example. The old adage of "Do what I say, not what I do" doesn't work. So if I want my children to love learning well into their adult years and explore new areas to grow, I must be willing to go there myself. I have found that change often comes in small intentional steps toward a larger goal. So I have set baby goals for myself to become the person I want my children to mirror.

I wrote before about my attempts to maintain a tidy house - a real struggle for me. It's working nicely. I made a new "rule" recently that whenever I bring a big box into the house, it will leave full of "stuff" to send to Good Will. You'd be surprised how easy it is to do! That's a domestic step. I also have been trying to read at least one book a month. To some of you that may not seem like a lot, but when you have four small children, it can be a challenge! Most of the books have been on home education, but I have snuck one in on running a small business. That's an intellectual step. I've also started taking a ballet class! I am an introverted person, so going to a ballet class (when I've never taken one in my life) with a room full of people I've never met before was a real challenge for me. I love physical activity, so that part was not an issue. The girls were so excited when I got home so I could show them what I learned! (Something, I often ask them to do for me). It also gave me a guaranteed hour a week to work-out. So that was a physical and emotional step. I think you're getting the idea. Have you taken any small steps lately?

One thing I'm still exploring is a teaching style that works for me. Last year I tried a canned curriculum. I failed miserably! I hated it and was bored out of my mind! This year, with the guidance of books on home education, I'm doing my own thing. It's working so much better for me because I can challenge myself at the same time I challenge them. Yesterday, we had a happy accident. Some time ago, I decided to do a unit study on Guatemala and Compassion International because Evelyn took a real interest in learning about the children we sponsor in that country. I ordered several "living" books that are either about Guatemala or are based there, one was called Abuela's Weave. The girls have also been selling lemonade with my mom at the farmers' market to learn about money. Evelyn has been wanting to also sell a "real" product, so at the recommendation of friends we went to Crafts2000 this weekend and bought materials to make pot holders. Yesterday, we sat down and read Abuela's Weave, which turned out to be a story about a little girl who weaved garments with her grandmother and took them to market to sell! So of course, directly after reading that, I got out the pot holder materials to weave. As if that weren't coincidental enough, a few minutes in, my mom knocked at the door and sat down a weaved a pot holder with them! It was definitely a happy home school moment!

Grace in the High Times

I can hardly believe my little man is almost a month old - in some ways - in other ways it's already hard to picture life without him. I've really just spent the month getting us into a routine, loving on him and hanging out with my girlies. We're already into our second week of school. We started back on Accountable Kids. I've continued with my cleaning system. Richard is back to school. We're living within our budget. I'm exercising, reading books, and having a weekly "me night." We're starting a youth group at church and getting more involved there, which really deserves a post for itself. I'm just not sure I'm ready to right it yet. Really, life is good right now. I'm just going to take it in while it lasts.

I don't feel mediocre right now.

I feel like I have it all under control. In some ways, that's a bad thing. It's during the high times that I must remind myself that I am just as dependent on grace as I was 9 months ago lest I start relying on my own strength. When my house was a train wreck, my marriage was rocky, my children were ignored, our finances were in disarray, home school was barely educating, my faith was shaky, my calling was uncertain, and my emotions were on edge - it was easy to see how desperately I needed grace.

But today I am still that same person, just allowing God to move in the direction He's calling. Living on grace. Hanging tight to faith. God was blessing me then, and He's blessing me now. Amen. And Amen.